Don’t wait for your whole life to turn to shit to make positive change. It was real easy to quit smoking after my second root canal, but I’d rather have my teeth.
Acknowledging positive shifts born of suffering is one of my favorite topics (if you missed my thank you/break up letter to depression, read it here). When things get really dark, you have no choice but to look for light; it’s the only way to survive. For that reason, I’m proud to say that I used to stare into space for 45 minutes at a time because the idea of committing to any possible action I could think of was so depressing to me that I literally could not move. I’m proud to say that there was a time when chubby hubby and a bottle of cab was my idea of dinner. I’m proud to say that I was so unresponsive to life that not even the dopamine ding of a social media alert could rouse me. These are the wrinkles of my history. These are the wounds I have turned into treasured scars. I adore each jagged edge and recessed contour because they mapped the way to where I am today.
When you’re actually in the pits, you want to bludgeon anyone who claims to be grateful for their suffering, so I’m sorry if that’s you. But it’s true, and it’s unfortunate that so many people wait to flirt with the brink of sanity before making a break for the other side. What’s beautiful about that bent though, is that we tend to overcorrect. I went from a weepy nacho receptacle to the master of my mind, and therefore my reality. (Well, master might be a touch strong, but I’m getting r e a l l y good at reframing).
I feel the most for people who perpetually ride the median groove. I’ve watched loved ones accept profound apathy in the absence of imminent threat. That’s the ugly side of our tendency to transform only when tested by acute tribulation.
So my message is twofold: If you are currently at rock bottom, you’re not alone and I implore you to seek help, both from a therapist as well as an integrative health practitioner (I am NOT qualified to fill either role.) Whatever you’re experiencing, I promise you, that’s not all there is.
The second message is for the zombies who have settled into a comfortable autopilot:
- If going to work for someone else costs you soul points every day, that job is costing you more than your employer is paying you
- If you don’t wake up excited about at least one thing you know that day will bring, you’re either not filling your days properly, or you’re not expressing gratitude.
- It is up to you to manufacture meaning in life, and meaning seldom sprouts from binge watching sitcoms.
- You have to do something different
- Don’t wait
That’s all I got today, lovelies. Thanks for reading to the end of one of my more serious posts.