It works, who cares why?

Claiming that something does not work simply because you do not understand why it works is a perspective that is actually antagonistic to science. The mystery inherent in discovery should not be a means to silence so-called tin foil hat hippies, but the root of a hypothesis.

I’m not going to speak with any kind of authority about how or why this absurd meditation I’ve started works. But did you catch that? It works, so who the fuck cares why.

Our recorded experiences, culturally inherited wisdom and clinical trials have some significance whether or not academia has yet to confirm or deny their truth value, and actually, many ancient healing practices are currently being validated by modern science. While the critical W.E.I.R.D.os of the west were waiting for a green light from a labcoat (earning her paycheck from Pfizer) and dying of cancer or living long enough to enjoy dementia, the crazy snake oilers of the east were acting on a different kind of knowledge and living longer, more robust lives.

I want to be clear: I’m NOT advocating a divorce from advanced medicine, nor am I suggesting that every crunchy fad carries weight. I love science, I’m all for progress, and I’m a questioner by nature, but why can’t we all just get along? Why can’t there be value in the unknown? I’m not telling you not to vaccinate your kids or to stop taking whatever medication you’re on, I’m just saying, if chanting or tapping or diffusing makes someone’s life more manageable, what’s the merit in being a sour skeptic if it isn’t to be a miserable shit hell-bent on convincing the rest of us to stay miserable too?

Would you try to talk a believer out of trusting in his God if that faith is part of what makes him a good person? If a placebo were saving your friend’s life, would you try to intellectualize a reversal of those benefits? Everyone has their gods. Even an atheist has reverence for “truth.” And what is that anyway?

I don’t know the truth of much of anything, but I do know that:

This meditation I’m about to share works.

Everyone at my gym 100% thinks I’m crazy.

I give 0 shits about #2.

Here’s how to do it.

First, you have to know what you actually want. If you don’t know what drives you, check out my previous post about finding your “why.” Then you have to pretend you already have those things and flood your body and mind with gratitude and other emotions you would experience under those conditions. You have to really embody those feelings; If you’re not grinning like a freshly pubescent boy seeing boobies for the first time, you’re not doing it right.

To strengthen the neural net for the new emotions you’re introducing, and to allow endorphins to assist you in manufacturing those good feels in the first place, do this while exercising.

So when I do this, I’m at my local gym, climbing the stairmaster, gazing out with innocent wonder and smiling like I’m trying to break my face, listening to some uplifting instrumental music and running a constant monologue in my head for about 20 minutes that goes something like this “I’m so grateful that I paid off all my debt and my husband’s debt and I’m so happy that I did that without selling my soul or my body, I’m so elated that I’m full enough to give to others, I’m so grateful that I’m reaching people and they’re enjoying what I have to say, I’m so happy that I have these big beautiful thighs and fluffy butt – fuck you floppy baby!” You’d have to have read this other post to understand that last bit…

I also do traditional vapasana meditation, but what I love about this practice is that there’s zero ambiguity about whether or not I’m doing it right or whether or not it’s working. When I leave that gym, I feel high with happiness. When you practice happiness, you get good at happiness.

There are actually studies that explain why I’m having such success with this, but I’m going to hold out on that. For now, I dare you to make an ass of yourself at your local gym without really understanding why.



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